Wow. A whole year has come and gone since I decided to create my little baby and name her “Colleen’s Cluttered Collections.” This project started out as a way to remember and reflect on what I had learned throughout this stage in my life so I could look back on these times and [hopefully] laugh. Originally, it was for me, myself, and I *cue music* however, I quickly learned that God had bigger plans. Within this past year, He’s taught me that I needed to use my creations to glorify my Creator.
Soon after the first few posts were published, my list of ideas for the blog had quickly diminished and I was left feeling worried about what my next post would be. I began voicing this worry to my sweet mother who promptly told me, “Just wait on God. He’ll let you know what to write next.” This is one huge struggle for me because I like to plan ahead but, again, we are learning to take it one day at a time.
I eventually established a high expectation for myself: every post needed to be better than the last. I soon found that this was ridiculous and I needed to cut myself a whole lot of slack. After all, God was going to use each one of them no matter how “bad” or “good” they were. If He was going to use my posts to impact just one life then it didn’t matter how many views or visitors they garnered.
After many nights spent wondering why these insecurities and doubts were so prominent, I realized I was trying to do it all on my own strength. I was looking to myself for inspiration and ideas instead of letting the One who guides my steps guide my words. I was placing my value in numbers and statistics instead of finding my identity in the One who numbered the stars.
These struggles haven’t been easy. At all. But, as always, good has come from them.
I celebrate these last 23 (well, now 24) posts not because these people know my name, but because they know His. Not because people from 38 different countries have read my work, but because His love knows no boundaries. Not because my writing is in any way sufficient, but because His grace is and not because they know my story, but because they know how it was changed by my Savior.
Thank you for sticking by my side and walking alongside me thus far. I hope this small corner of the internet has brought you as much joy as it has brought me. I’m excited to see how He continues to use it for His glory!