Don’t get me wrong, I love my blog, I really do. But sometimes it just sucks.
Let me tell you what: the comparison game is real. Sometimes, I find myself looking at other blogs a whole lot. I tell myself it’s for “research purposes,” but in the end it just leaves me feeling “less than” and “not good enough.” I see their polished brand, vivid details, and success stories and begin to think that I’ll never measure up.
BUT. I need to take one large step back and remind myself why this little corner of the internet exists. I’m just here to love on my friends, my family, and myself. I need to trust that if God wants to take Colleen’s Cluttered Collections to the next level, He will. In HIS timing, not mine. So, until then, I get to keep doing my thing. You know, the thing that’s specific to me and how God has gifted me.
There, I said it. Sometimes I share this little secret with people, and I’m usually given a strange look or two. I guess I get it. I have quite a few pieces on this thing, and I normally spend a TON of time on just one post. So, why devote so much time and effort to something that I don’t always enjoy? To be honest I’m still trying to figure that one out..
Anyways, back to my original point: Writing is hard because I choose listen to the lie screaming “you’ll never be good enough.” This usually results in a heavy dread of sitting down and starting a post for fear that it won’t turn out the way I imagined.
BUT. I need to remind myself of Truth. Yeah, I’m not an award-winning writer (the stakes would have to be pretty low for that). Yeah, finding time, energy, ideas, and motivation to write is like teaching pigs to fly. **oink oink** Yeah, maybe not all my posts will be perfectly polished, but my God works through my weaknesses, and through them He’s glorified all the more.
There’s Never an End
I love creating, I do, but I hate that the work will never really be done. There will always be another sentence to edit, a better photo to take, and a more clever caption to write. If I wanted to, which I really don’t, I could spend my entire life on just one post. As a perfectionist, this kills me.
BUT. I need to give myself some grace. Sure, not every post will be exactly how I want it, but I am quite literally the only person on this whole planet who cares in the slightest. I have to let go of my standards (just a little) and quit nit-picking every small aspect of my blog, and, while I’m at it, my life.
So, yeah, my blog is really not always fun. A lot of times, it’s almost a burden.
BUT. I love how powerful my words can be. (Hey, did you know your words have a huge impact on others as well? Crazy, right?!) I love hearing how a silly post that I didn’t think was any good brightened someone’s day and provided just an inkling of hope. I love hearing the words, “me too.”
Most importantly, I love how God is glorified through it all. In the end, it all points back to Him in a way that I never thought would happen when I first created the clutter. Why am I even surprised? Of course He would use it to show how great His name is.
So, dear reader, thank you for a great two years.
Thank you for being the fun part of my “job.”
Thank you for helping to make it all worth it.
You, my friend, are worth it.