Can We Stop Living For Marriage?

It seems like the whole world is obsessed with finding a spouse.

You know what I mean, though, right? Tell me you see it, too.

Maybe you see it in your friends or maybe you’ve realized it for yourself, but it just seems as though all we’re living for is whether or not we’ve got a ring on it by the time we’re “x”  years old.

Yes, yes that was a Beyoncé reference…

We have this false sense of everything-will-be-OK-once-I’m-no-longer-single. We dream of the day we have Mr. or Mrs. Right by our side, and we fantasize how much “better” everything will be once we’re married.

“Once we’re married.”


What happens when we find so-and-so? Do our real lives begin then? What about the 20-something years we’ve “wasted” before then? Does life magically become perfect just because we’ve found an imperfect person to hang out with for the rest of our lives?

If this ends up being our purpose, we’ll be left staring at him or her the day after our honeymoon thinking, “Now what?”

And now, I’d like to interrupt this brief vent session with a lovely story from my mother.


My sweet momma used to tell me some advice on dating that happened to go a little something like this:

Run the race. Run hard after Christ. Chase Him with all you’ve got. Keep your eyes on the prize: Him. After you’ve gotten that down and set a good pace for yourself, look to your left and right to see if anyone is doing the same. Then, introduce yourself.

I was dwelling on this the other day as I was pondering and reflecting upon my entire life as my Spotify decided not to work (it’s become both a blessing and a curse).

And I came to a realization…

As I’ve said, most of us are in the race to find a running buddy. But should that be our main motive? Should we train and prepare for the marathon simply so we can throw the race as soon as we find someone to run with?

Our goal shouldn’t be finding a running partner, our goal should be finishing the race. 

Now, ladies and gents, don’t get me wrong–if someone comes along that helps you pace yourself, encourages you, presses you further, and reminds you to stay hydrated on the [living] water (AMIRIGHTLADIES) you’d better go for it.

But, that’s not why you’re running the race. And that’s not why you’re here on Earth.

And that’s how we can have peace in letting go of a relationship or even being single.

So if it’s not the right time–if y’all aren’t running at the same pace or have the same finish line in sight, you’ll be OK. Why? Because even if we don’t find an Usain Bolt to run with, our purpose doesn’t change.

We can still finish the race with grace and a whole lot of sweat.

And you know what? Even then, we won’t be alone. Why? Because our COACH will be right there beside us, cheering us on and grabbing our hand as we run just a little bit further.

Just a little bit further,” He whispers.

Colleen #1


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3 Responses to Can We Stop Living For Marriage?

  1. Pingback: All Posts |

  2. Sarah says:

    Mmmm Girl, love this. Thanks for sharing your (and your momma’s) wisdom 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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