Lately, I’ve been struggling and wrestling with just a whole crap ton of issues. If you haven’t read about them yet, you can check [some of] them out here! (Dreading the Ordinary: Is this all there really is? I Can’t: Weighed down by lies and trapped by expectations. Robbed: Discovering the thief who stole my joy.)
Anyways, I feel like God’s been trying to get my attention for the past few years, and I’ve definitely been ignoring Him, because that’s the easiest way out, amirightladies?
But, even when I ignore Him, He never gives up on me. That’s just who He is!
So, I thought I’d give you a glimpse of a recent conversation between my Man and I.
“Colleen! Do you hear me?”
“Alright, I’ll try again later.”
*Colleen makes things worse*
“Are you ready to hear me out?”
*Colleen runs away yet again*
“I promise I only want to help… I’ll be right here when you’re ready.”
“Colleen, finally. I’ve missed this. I’ve missed these moments of realness and vulnerability. I’ve missed my Child.
I want you to know that I’m not mad about these past few years of struggling and wrestling and running and doubting and hurting and crying. I’m not angry because I love you way too much to let that come between us.
I’m sorry that the past year or so has, as you say, sucked. I know you’ve been pushing these problems aside and away for a while now… Out of sight, out of mind, right? I’m sorry they’ve found their way to the surface.
But, Beloved, we have to deal with them.
I know it hurts. I know facing these issues is tough, but it’ll only get worse if we don’t.
I know you’re scared. I know you want to continue running from your problems, but, Treasure, they’re consuming you, and I know you’re starting to realize that.
I know you’re embarrassed. I know your pride prevents you from opening up and admitting to what is actually going on. I know you don’t want to let others in.
I know the unknown frightens you. I know losing control drives you crazy. I know this because it’s the way I made you. Why, you ask? Well, it brought you to my feet, didn’t it? (Jesus has some savage moments in my mind)
I know you’re tired.
You’re tired of crying. Run to me, for I will catch your every tear.
You’re tired of dreading tomorrow. Cling to me, for I am the greatest adventure.
You’re tired of striving. Hide in me, for I’ve made you for so much more.
You’re tired of running the seemingly hopeless race. Run to me, for I will heal and restore your weary bones.
You’re tired of listening to the lies of this world. Turn your ear towards me, for I am the Way, the Truth, and the Life.
You’re tired of searching for love and acceptance in a world of hatred and fleeting romance. Fall in love with me, for I am love.
You’re tired of fearing the future. Trust in me, for your precious life is in my mighty hands.
You’re tired of trying to figure out who you are. Find yourself in me, for I will show you who I created you to be.
You’re tired of feeling alone in the fight. Stick by me, for I am fighting for you.
You’re tired of seeking fulfillment in every empty basin. Abide in me, for I will satisfy you.
You’re tired of feeling worthless and overlooked. Look to me, for I have given you worth.
Love, don’t you know I can give you rest?
I’ve chosen you to be blameless in my sight. I’ve sent my most prized possession to rescue you from the chains that have tied you down for too long. I’ve forgiven your mistakes before you could even forgive yourself. I’ve loved you with a steadfast and everlasting love. I’ve drawn you with an unfailing kindness. I’ve proven my faithfulness time and time again, and I will never grow tired of doing just that in the future.
So, dear Daughter, trust in my love. Trust in my plan, trust in my timing, and trust in my power. There’s no issue that we cannot solve together. I have promised that I will be with you. I will carry you when your limbs grow weak and you cannot walk on your own. Take my hand, let’s conquer this mountain together. I promise you, after the struggle and the heartache, the view will be breath-taking.”
“P.S. Hey, it’s your Father again, I just wanted you to know how much you make me smile.”
(Yeah, that’s right, my God is a God of PS’s.. Just when you think He’s done, He’s got so much more up His sleeve.)
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.”
~ Matthew 11:28 ~